I think everyone knows that feeling of people not understanding you, your life choices, or not wanting to. It can be a hard hit, especially if it comes from people who are closest with. I have had that experience a couple of times now in the last weeks. What I learned from it so far is, that’s okay if people don’t understand. It’s okay if they don’t understand your choices and it’s okay if they don’t understand you. They are your choices for a reason and it’s also your life for a reason. Because YOU are the one living it and no one else. If you are content with the choices you make and if you are happy with the life you live, then why care what other people think about it?
I was sitting there, in the darkness, my body shaking. My eyes closed and my tears running, silver, I guess, they were matching the stars tonight. I was sitting there alone in the darkness, for hours and hours. Silence, breath in breath out. My cheeks still wet from the tears I cried and my hands still shaking. I was talking to the moon tonight, he was my only companion. "You know", I said, "I don't want to keep up with this shit any longer. People hurting me, coming and going, not taking care of me and my feelings, stepping on them like on a doormat. Everyone is gone, left, fled,...., I guess I'm just too weird for people to understand." "I'm here", the moon said. I smiled a little. "I know", I whispered. "I'm always here, and I guess it's actually the other way around, people are just too normal for you". "I guess so", I said and closed my eyes.