This text / poem emerged through that I constantly got judged for and had to justify how I’m living my life and the choices I make (still often happens), since working as an artist is not exactly the way society expects you to take.
So I got a bit frustrated and wrote this, as there are, not only when you are an artist, but in general, so many expectations society has for you and how you have to be and how your live should go. And people breaking free from that are often met with a lot of judgement from other people.
Nevertheless, I encourage everyone, as hard as it may be (it defenitly is at times) to live your life true to yourself and the way you want to live it, because not doing that won’t make you happy eventually.
I’m tired.
Tired of caring. Tired of being strong. Tired of pretending. Tired of doing things I don’t enjoy doing. Tired of other people, their pretending to be real, their pretending to know me, knowing who I am deep down and their opinion of me, what they assume is good for me, what I should do (or shouldn’t for that matter), what is right or wrong with my desicions. Them making fun of my life choices, what I assume to be right.
Because the truth is, they don’t know me.
Do they know what moves me ? What my dreams are ? What I laugh about ? What makes me cry ?
What I need when I’m done and aching ? What makes my eyes sparkling and my heart singing ?
Only a few do know, really know.
I’m tired of all the falseness, people being unreal and dishonest. It’s exhausting, so exhausting.
I’m tired of people. Those people. Society.
I want to pack my things and go, just go, to foreign places, where no one knows me and I have time to think, time to be me.
Away from all the expectations.
I want to wander, let loose, meet new people, experience new things, taste new meals,
see new places, smell things I’ve never smelled before, see new colours, feel.
Just me and myself, for I am my best companion at the moment.
I need this. Time to figure things out, just being me, not depending on anyone else, laughing, dreaming, flying.
I can’t describe that exact feeling to you but it feels good, light, even a bit scary, but all big things are.
I want freedom. Break free, live free, live how I want to, real, honest, raw, genuine, happy, truly happy.
I want to live for me.
