The Practical World and its Impracticality.

How Gender Shaped Humanity.

I recently cut my hair and this time I just cut it the shortest they have ever been in my life. Well, when I was born I had no hair at all so in my present situation they are at least longer than how they were back then. But since I cut it, the world looks a little different for me. Now I know that hair is not everyone’s main concern but the way it makes me feel and how I feel about it at present makes me question this world and it’s assumptions on what being a woman truly is. I think to every woman her hair is such a huge part of her identity and I know that it’s not that big of a change but to say the least, it is. Well i think from the time we were born we were so made aware of the fact that we are girls. There were so many times in my life that my family made me understand that I was a girl. And as I grew, and my hair started becoming shorter and shorter, I realised how invaluable life is. It was because I was always told to be this person and my identity was based on my gender. And yes, i know it sounds stupid but my gender does not define me as a person. And if the foundation of identity is gender then who is a woman? 

This topic is something that really tickles my brain in so many areas. Maybe who i think i am is not who i truly am. And especially for little girls and even for growing ones, how we shape ourselves is very important. And yes, our gender is 75% of our identity but the remaining 25% is who we truly are. And when i analyse the death’s of successful women like Virginia Woolf and Sylvia Plath further those women were way ahead of their times. And I know that mental conditions and other disorders are pretty common but i can’t help but think that apart from their conditions they were no one. I am not ready to accept that they were so ready to give up on life and just move to the other sides. I read this phrase a lot, “ we are all human” and it makes me uncomfortable to hear it because if being human is what we are then why are we so held upon our sex? I think our gender merely follows the universal law that one body in this universe is supposed to attract another body. But that body has its own conscience and its own self apart from the body. A soul. But the problem in our world is that no one looks at our soul but the body that we come in. And instead we identify each other as a woman and a man when that is not who we truly are. And if there is such a thing as finding a soulmate and being attracted to a person not by body but by soul then the fact that those two souls can be of the same gender should not matter. And maybe that is what love is. If love is just lust, then we are just bodies but if souls attach and if we look past our given form then we much more. But the 75 to 25 percent ratio is not what it should be. Because the way we are using the 25% is by founding ourselves on that big 75%. When will it be that we take our conscience in part of this because apart from the body the only thing that remains is our soul. So what i truly am is my conscience and not my body. Therefore it does not matter to me if my body turns to dust because what is going to live is my conscience. And maybe these women wanted someone to understand them and recognise them by their souls. They were longing for that attachment when the other parts of their life seemed to have faded away. 

When i read Emily Dickinson’s poems the only certain thing I feel is that she had given on the bodily side of life and was longing for the conscious one. That made her who she truly was. The uncertainty of death and the buzzing of the bees was not a threat but a cry for something more than this world could barely offer her. And that was something that maybe she was looking for. And I have no idea of how many people must have died just because they were out of definition and because they did not get what they hoped from this world. The world is failing us, it might be failing you and it is failing me for the souls that we are.

This is not impracticality, this is the truth. And if being practical is to suffer and to die, then, I would not rather be impractical than live in the shadows of the world.

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