The geno***E in P***stine has been heartbreaking to see. to watch as thousands of homes and lives have been lost in the span of 5 weeks.

As we stand in solidarity and continue to advocate for an IMMEDIATE ceasefire, we are committed to using our platform to share the stories and educate others about the experiences of the P***stinian people.

Opening The Uncoiled to receive articles, essays, stories, poetry, and art surrounding the plight of the P***stinian people.

About The Essay.

“SHE” is an essay about being in your head. It’s about looking at oneself from an outside perspective. It talks about mental health and how it can sometimes make us feel like we don’t belong in our own bodies. The essay is the 1st essay from a series of essays that talk about similar struggles about dealing with mental health and the world.

It’s not always that I lose myself. Well, the feeling is something that I haven’t had much taste of but somehow it tastes like metal. The cold, hard metal. But who am I to be lost? Who am I to be found? These are the days when I contemplate my existence, well not just mine, but of the entire world. The illusions of reality, the delusions of fiction, and the intoxication of hypocrisy seem to eat me nowadays. The constant confusion that is my mind and my place in it. The fact that I seem to exist makes me wonder how I do it in the first place? Am I the body that walks, talks, eats, prays, or am I the consciousness that thinks, debates, loves, cares, and hates? Who am I to myself?

My identity is not something I wish to dwell upon a lot, because to me, identity is a fatal flaw. Something that is just there because we are here, well the part of us that built society and still contribute to its whims on a regular basis but when I look at her, the person that she is, she seems too good and too lonely to believe in love and society. She is there, a pale creature that she is, with her hooked chin, full cheeks, brown doe eyes, and hair that is long enough to tell she is a ‘she’. I belong to her, but yet, she doesn’t see me inside herself. She is the human that eats, prays, and loves. To the world that she lives in, she is the perfect angel. And just as the hypocritical insect that she is, she despises herself. 

Yet she thinks, she thinks about the life that she lives, she believes in her version of god, and she loves in the ways she wishes to be loved. She dreams big, and yet all she wishes to do is run in the endless mountains or be swept by lifelong ocean waves. She is here and yet she is there. When I look at her, I see a part of myself, a part that displays itself on the window shop to attract the passers-by. A part of her that is visible to the naked eye, for what is naked is yet to be simplified, she is the one that walks while I am the one that thinks. 

There is a certain comfort in life that we all wish to feel, love, and happiness for instance is something that we like to find comfort in. We like to think that love is fluid and happiness is a form of luck that can be found in a lifetime. There is more to her though, not just the one that attracts but she is in pain. Pain deeper than she could physically feel, although I remind her of that pain sometimes, it’s something I feel constantly and yet am only able to project a few times. There is beauty in pain though, it reveals the world as it is meant to be, lifeless and unexpectant. Pain that more spiritual than it is mental or physical. It’s the pain that I feel and yet there is no control over it. Control, another one of those funny words that either give responsibility or buries a man’s soul. And yet, control is something that all of them seek. Control over their lives, their feelings, and their desires.

She desires too, for love so pure that makes her forget of who she is, love that capitulates, yet she hasn’t a clue what love really is. She is burdened by it sadly, constantly in war to find love or happiness for that matter. She has read, she has heard and yet the conclusion she comes to is inconclusive and there she is on the bright gray concrete, lying, lifeless, and still. Her image is that of a person who has given up trying. A creature that lies there almost dead, because sometimes I too am considered to be life. A burden lies above her, the weight of which pins her down and chokes her, the burden of dreams, love, hope, happiness, expectations, and the years that still are ahead of her. A burden that turns into a void which she passes onto me while she continues to live. 

More Essays Like This One:-

The Inconvenience Of Life: Why We Live?

The Unchained Influence

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We all long to become successful, but sometimes forget to do things that are in line with attaining success. We have big dreams but fail to fulfill them to the fullest in order to see them through. We have big wishes but fail to make them happen in our lives. We want to achieve heights but forget that going to the top is not an easy job. In fact if it were easy, we are all there right now.

Unfortunately, mere dreams, wishes are not achieved by words of mouth. It is the effort, the zeal, the work, the passion we put in to make them happen that open the road to success . If you have a shortcut to it, please let me know.

I know success may have different definitions, features and perspectives depending on each one’s perception and philosophy of life. But it has signs that show clearly what you are successful at and how it impacts your life and other people’s lives.

Now, endeavor to answer the following questions in plain words in order to position yourself strategically on the path of success or join the league of successful people.

What is your definition of success and what can you do to gain it?

What should you do that proves you are steadily working towards the success you desire?

Before you answer those questions , note that from the top of my knowledge and experience and after studying and listening to successful ones, I have come to realize that:

Success is not a tap that you open and the water starts flowing spontaneously.

Success is not mere dreams that you always keep under your mind’s carpet unscheduled, unchanged, unchecked, unachieved

Success is not simple wishes that you throw on yourself or others send you through whichever means

Success is not doing the same thing, the same way everyday

Success is not for those who are not deliberate or intentional about their daily activities

Now that you understood what success is not from my perspective which may be different from your line of thought , let’s talk about what it is.

Success is the the daily pursuit of excellence irrespective of irrespective of obstacles, setbacks, hardships that you encounter on your road

Yes,

Success belongs to those who wake up every morning and pursue their dreams regardless of any confrontations, difficulties, problems or issues

Success is for those who have grow and make their mind not to give up, not to give in and not to throw in the towel as, a boxer will do when he can sustain the punches of his opponent

Success is for those who always say “the game is not going to be over until I gain what I want”,

Success is for those who surrender from *” *what will people say syndrome” and stop moving on*

Success is for everyone. Yes it is for YOU too. Embrace it. Devise it. Imagine it. Create it and live in it.

Success is for you, never take it light. You have all Abilities and the potentials that have been endowed on you. Try hard to discover it and work on it day in, day out. **The Greatness within you is limitless ** and you deserve to be successful.

Again if you have any ideas, thoughts, definitions different from the above, you are free to express them in the comments. Your contributions may add more spice to the subject and make it more palatable.

What to do now?

Decide and *devise your definition of success and strive to work towards it to the best of your abilities, knowledge, experience and skills.

This is my advice to you, feel free to take it in, absorb it and digest it for the advancement of your business, life or any other course of endeavor you find yourself in or reject it.

As you go through the day, the week, the month and the rest of the year 2021,

Dare to be DIFFERENT .

Dare to be EXTRAORDINARY .

Dare to go EXTRA MILE

Dare to be INTENTIONAL OR DELIBERATE

Dare to CONSISTENT

Dare to be YOURSELF .

You’re more than what you are now

So make this week’s success counts for you and replicate it for the days, weeks, months and years to come in a strategic and tactical manner. You will be surprised by the results you will be getting.

Cheers.

Tamoskoff

This mother’s day, The Uncoiled is shedding light on how women are affected by depression.

Did you know? Depression is a fairly common condition. More than 264 million people in the world suffer from depression, according to the World Health Organization, and many of those people are parents — moms and dads with rich families. Though the media often portrays those who suffer from depression as loners, the fact is that depression knows no bounds. It is unconstrained and unbounded.

Depression affects women especially mothers in various ways. They miss out on many happy times and unique experiences with their children as a result of their depression.

Depression Affects 1 Out Of Every 10 Women!

Depression affects many women in various forms, ranging from clinical and seasonal depression to postpartum depression and bipolar disorder. In fact, women are more likely than men to be affected by depression. Women are almost twice as likely as men to be diagnosed with depression, according to statistics. The cause of the discrepancy is unknown. Some research claim that hormonal shifts are to blame, while others claim that living conditions and societal stressors are to blame.

The trigger, on the other hand, is unimportant. What matters is how we help, assist, and handle people who suffer from depression.

Certain Types Of Depression Are Unique To Women.

Although depression affects people of all races, sexes, ages, and socioeconomic backgrounds, women are more susceptible to certain forms of depression. For example, premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD) is a serious form of premenstrual syndrome (PMS) that affects women in the weeks leading up to menstruation.

Depression Looks Different In Women Than It Does In Men.

The signs and symptoms of depression are well-known. Depression, for example, is characterised by feelings of grief, hopelessness, helplessness, or apathy. Agitation and sleep disturbances are also common, as is a loss of interest in daily activities. People who suffer from depression tend to sleep excessively or not at all. However, some depression symptoms are more common in women than in men.

“Women and men feel depression differently,” Dr Richelle Whittaker — an educational psychologist specializing in maternal mental health.

Women often report a lack of enthusiasm, diminished interest in favourite hobbies, changes in sleeping or eating habits, and/or a general feeling of depression, hopelessness, remorse, worthlessness, or helplessness. Concentration problems are also normal, as are suicidal thoughts.

Men, on the other hand, are more likely to show signs of anger or provocation. They’re much more likely to partake in high-risk activities like drinking and driving or increasing their alcohol consumption.

Depression Can Be Treated.

If you’re depressed, keep in mind that you’re not alone. You’re not crazy, and you’re not by yourself. There is reason to be hopeful: depression is treatable. You can and should seek help from a counsellor, psychologist, therapist, trusted physician, community leader, and/or friends. If you think you’re depressed, speak to your doctor or seek support from a psychiatrist or other mental health professional.

How To Help Someone Suffering From Depression?

Although it’s difficult to see someone you care for in pain, there’s a lot you can do to help. Do not hesitate to inquire about your loved one’s feelings on a regular basis.

Listen to them without feeling embarrassed, judged, or stigmatised. Keep the remarks like “but you have so much to be happy about” to yourself.

Don’t attempt to repair them because you won’t be able to. Give empathy and companionship instead.

Make plans to get your significant other out of the house. Take a stroll with them, have lunch with them, organise get-togethers, and so on. Provide transportation to and from counselling. It’s not about what you do; it’s about how persistent and present you are.

Also, inquire as to what they want. They may not have a response — at least not right away — but as someone who has struggled with depression for many years, I can assure you: Just being there helps.

Read more by this author on mental health https://theuncoiled.com/2021/04/18/unexpressed-emotions/

Visit https://www.who.int/teams/mental-health-and-substance-use/gender-and-women-s-mental-health to know how gender affects women’s mental health.

May in some parts of the world is Mental Health Awareness Month. There could be nothing more detrimental to our health and well being than not being able to seek and find proper care for our mental state of being. Our mind is our constant companion, like a mental neighbourhood, and if it is not functioning at full capacity then we need to do everything in our power to return it to its full health.

We all have at one point or another come across the now well known and loved Don Miguel Ruiz’s vast array of works, but The Four Agreements is what I’d like to come back to today. You see it always comes back down to the basics. This holds true for most things in life. Whether we have mastered a certain skill or whether we once again find ourselves repeating an unhealthy pattern and behaviour in our lives. It is always helpful to go back to the beginning and try again. Yet in today’s world we are far too hasty to get ahead and look clever at any cost, and usually the cost is at someone else’s expense.

One of the key’s to living a peaceful and purposeful life is not to take anything personally. Now don’t let this little key give you the idea that that means not caring about what anyone else says or does. It certainly doesn’t mean that. If anything, it is advising to still hear and listen to what is being said and then using discernment to see if it fits and sits with you. Some of the best advice we are given we are resistant to, so this takes some time and practice to digest and develop.

How many throw-away remarks have we made in our lives that might have hurt or insulted someone without our knowing it?  How many times have we given advice where it was not even asked for? This is a particularly tricky one, as we do not realise the karmic implications this can have. What about when our words and actions just don’t add up. We say we will do something but then leave a friend hanging because we probably weren’t even paying attention to the conversation at the time to realise the importance it had to them.

THE MENTAL NEIGHBOURHOODS WE LIVE IN

So many ways we can affect others and they an affect us in our daily lives, that sometimes we then go the opposite direction and walk on egg shells, too scared to have conversations and withdraw into our very troubled inner worlds. As Anne Lamott, American writer, says ‘My mind is like a bad neighbourhood I try not to go to alone’. And this is where we get to come back to the very basics of mental health – our own minds.

This is the starting point. For somewhere along the way our minds have been so conditioned by our early upbringing, environments, familial belief and cultural systems that we really don’t know what it is like to have a clear mind anymore. Then add to that the traumas, heartaches, hurts and negative experiences we have had along the way and this makes for a very complex and often unsettled, troubled mental territory.

Now we meet with a friend, lover, boss or family member, who has their own conditioned mental neighbourhood, and it’s not so hard to see how quickly conflict and resistance kicks in. We are territorial creatures and anything that then feels threatening to our domain we will protect or attack. Our neural systems and brain function is just built that way.

So in a flash, there we are taking everything personally and feeling insulted, hurt, dejected, rejected, unloved, and not worthy – when in actual fact the other person was just probably doing the same thing, because well their neighbourhood is a certain way, the streets are ordered a certain way, the houses are all painted a certain way – so why aren’t yours?

Interesting stuff right. But what do we do about this?  The answer is we start cleaning up our own neighbourhoods. We look at our mental health, we acknowledge it’s a little messy – or a ton messy and we start clearing it. We go back to the traumas and trials and tribulations of our lives and deal with them, we seek help from professionals, we find the right advice and information we need. We dig deep and we climb high as we search out every false and limiting belief we are stuck with. We take every offer of help we can get, we open the windows and let the demons and doubts get some air.

We breath and cry and feel lost and pity ourselves and rage against others for a while. We do what needs to be done to get ourselves out of the muck and mire of our toxic mindsets. And in this process, we do the holy work of not taking anything personally. Even ourselves.

We set strong but loving boundaries; we also forgive a lot of people. And then we forgive again and again, whether we are able to have a conversation with them, or whether we do it in praying or writing letters which they will never read.

Our minds are our holy ground. They are the foundation of our lives. And if our foundation is faulty then our whole lives will be faulty. If our minds are not guided, nurtured and cared for on a daily basis, then what chance do we stand of making decisions with clarity and living with authentic self -esteem. If we are always needing others to validate and assure us then we are just setting ourselves up for deep hurt and disappointments.

While we are busy sorting, tossing and decluttering our mental neighbourhoods, we can also turn to age old practices like meditation and mantra recitation. The true nature of our minds needs no firework displays to return to its natural calm abiding ways. It just needs the space, time and dedication to allow it to return to health and vitality – with the proper instruction and guidance of course.

Let us be mindful of how we treat others, what we say, what we mean, what we do. Let us be aware of the fact that we do not always know what someone’s state of mind is like, even if they look put together and perfect all the time. Let us acknowledge that we have some broken windows and peeling paint that needs attention. And that we do not need to take things so personally if we have done the work on ourselves and continue to do so every day that we can.

Liberating ourselves from mental disorders and suffering could be the most important cleaning job of all. Not just for ourselves but for all of humanity to finally thrive and live embodied authentic lives. Let’s grow healthy gardens of mental health and thrive.

*Should you suffer from any mental disorder please do see a qualified expert to assess your condition immediately.

To read my previous article go here –

Drop the External Attachments and Look in the Mirror Now – The Uncoiled

To read what mental health is go here –

Mental health – Wikipedia

To listen to Anne Lammot go here –

Anne Lamott | Speaker | TED

The stigma lets people feel somewhat ashamed for things that are not within their control. Worst of all, the stigma also prevents people from getting the help that they need. For a large group of people that already face this burden, the whole stigma is another addition to their pain. The stigma also cut down these past years, but it is still not fast enough.

Many people in the mental health community need to voice the stigma. Each day, in every manner, we have to stand up towards the stigma; if we do not know how we have different ways to respond to how to fight the stigma.

Talk Openly About The Mental Health Condition

The stigma is fought about to fight the mental health issue, like PTSD and anxiety disorders, like on social media. If it helps another person, then it is worth it.

Properly Educate Yourself and Other People Around You

Take every chance to properly educate people to share each personal story and struggle with a mental disorder. It does not matter where you are. If you hear someone saying a rude remark about mental health, use it as a learning opportunity and intervene to see how it will make you feel and how you have to do your part to end the stigma.

Become Conscious of The Language

Fighting stigma will become your job, and the language will matter. It is easy to not use different mental health conditions as different adjectives. Based on feedback from others in the mental health community, many people will have to replace their language if they state that the language is problematic.

Equality Has To Be Encouraged Between Physical and Mental Illness

People say cancer is a physical illness. Mental illness does not differ from another type of physical illness – it is still a type of illness. People don’t make fun of diabetes, so I don’t see why they should disregard PTSD.

Give Others With Mental Illness Compassion

Talk to others that are facing mental illness. Give them compassion and let them know that it is okay, and a lot of homeless people have a mental illness. Give them food or a warm hug to know how they are cared for. Everyone suffers, but we should acknowledge it together, no matter how we are suffering.

Last, we have to practice not stigmatizing people with a mental disorder. We know that they are suffering differently, so we must not label them as useless – depression is just another type of illness.

If you need help finding resources kindly visit https://idontmind.com/

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What do you see when you look in the mirror? Who do you see when you look in the mirror?

It is all well and good to hold to our principles, beliefs, faiths, rituals, ceremonies and traditions. However, when it comes time to let go of them how often are we able to? Do you know who you are without them? What do you see when you look in the mirror ?Can you see that you are actually the same person whether you cling to one belief or another?

That there comes a time on your path that you will find yourself not needing to grasp so tightly to any one thing, belief, ritual or tradition. That we are taught and conditioned to identify with these from birth, but actually we are born without such labels and tags. That we are born from the wombs of human mothers and that is the last we will all be able to be in the true state of who we are.

This can be a lot to contemplate, but if you sit with it long enough and start to self-liberate from all the identification you are conditioned with you will come to a much fresher, deeper, clearer place of being. It is a huge leap to just drop everything. I am not suggesting this strategy, unless of course this is where you are in your life. I also use the word ‘self’ liberate – for too many of us think that we are going to get liberated and enlightened by someone else doing the work for us, or waving a magic wand and we suddenly wake up in the land of Nirvana.

Being able to start dropping all these conditioned states starts to happen organically the further you commit to your journey of self. So, no need to take the big leap if you are not prepared for it. Self-love, self-care, self- discovery and individuation – as Carl Jung would call it – all come into the practice of dropping/letting go/letting be. This is how studying Buddhism has helped me to get my head around the psychology of concepts and labels, and how we actually are so conditioned into them that we often cannot see the wood for the trees.

Consider for a moment if you are to say I am a Gypsey, or I am a Buddhist or I am a Vegan (it could be any title you are given or have taken for yourself) or I am a student, I am an artist…. Can you actually see anywhere in the physical the title that you are? When you look at yourself in the mirror can you see the description ‘vegan’ or can you see the word in manifestation of ‘artist’?

Plain and simple – no. All you do see is the sum of physical parts manifesting as a human body. We see arm, foot, stomach, face, hair, but we are not those either – are we? We say ‘I am a ‘blonde’, but what exactly is that? Yes, your hair colour may be blonde, but is blonde who you are? No when you look in the mirror you find more than just body parts.

Now stay with me, this is quite a deep contemplation practice, but it really can set you free from the suffocating solid thoughts and dogmas you are living with. You see if nothing is as solid as it seems, and we cannot even get a handle on who we are, then how can we cling to tightly to the labels that we think make us who we are. And this gives us the opportunity to then start dropping what we are clinging so tightly to.

All I do know is that it becomes more and more liberating to drop it all. To finally come to place after years and lifetimes of doing the work, doing the practices that we read so much about and committing to our path.

Question it all. Does this belief, religion, dogma, tradition, ceremony, ritual etc serve me? Or can I still be an amazing person without all of them. Can I decide to use them and honour them, but still see them for what they are? Merely guides, teachers, chaperones and ushers, accompanying us on the road, but not necessarily bound to us for the whole trip. It is the binding, solidifying, clinging, grasping and attaching that causes such problems for us.

The moment we are stripped of a title or tag, there goes our whole personality having a breakdown, because we don’t know who we are anymore.  We either then very quickly move onto another unhealthy attachment or spend a vast amount of time trying to figure out who we are (identity crisis 101).

If only we would’ve been instructed from an early age, that who we truly are is not something that is defined by any external structure or classification. Our hair can be blond, but I am not. Our body can be fat, but I am not. Our emotions can display anger, but I am not. Similarly with religious or cultural identification. If we are born in a country but then move when we are very little, what culture do we identify with – even if the birth certificate tells you something else?

Once you start to take this approach to looking at life and your life, it kind of gives one permission to be a little gentler with oneself and others. A little less judgemental, a little more compassionate. And isn’t that the true start of the spiritual journey that so many claim to be on, yet when it comes down to it, they still sit in so much judgment and conditioning.

Well I don’t know about you, but I am going to go look in the mirror right now and see past all the flaws and imperfections I think are my identity, and go straight to the heart of the person looking back at me and start there.

GO HERE to read last week’s article SHOWING UP FOR YOURSELF MIGHT MAKE ALL THE DIFFERENCE IN THE WORLD TO AN AUTHENTIC LIFE – The Uncoiled

GO HERE to understand compassion Compassion – Wikipedia

Empathy: the ability to understand and share the feelings/emotions of another.

How empaths experience emotions and how mere emotions can help them slip into eternal peace?

“You see, I never wrote it down. I never talked it out”, I’d slid into my sheets, my eternal comfort zone, my bed; where I’d lie mentally paralysed and nobody would ask why.

“I am not angry,” I used to tell myself. I wasn’t afraid to be vulnerable yet I felt like they were too ignorant to realise I’m merely a human being just like them. Maybe they did, or maybe they did not. It didn’t affect me for he blessed me with an understanding heart. And because of that, I’d always come to the conclusion that their things are worse than mine or maybe, maybe God sent me to heal all the broken ones and what could be better than him choosing me for the purpose?

Yet, I had broken down at times. Not because of the overwhelming burden I had on my shoulders or the storm that I kept inside, but because of the lack of compassion, the lack of empathy, and the lack of humanity I witnessed on daily basis. I’d see men telling to man up, to get up and go face the reality and then, I’d see feminists advocating that it is totally okay to cry.

It was not a war with men or women. Or how their biology worked. Or how the world portrayed it. It was my war. A war within myself. I didn’t want to win. I only wanted to know if it had ended. I loved battling the insides and maybe, maybe at that point I was a bit tired and I only wanted to know the results. I hated that I’d get tired at times.

I hated that I wasn’t living up to what God sent me for. If I was sent for them, who did he send for me? I didn’t hate giving, but in moments like those, when I’d think I have almost won the war, I’d go back, exit the battle zone and go looking for myself for I knew I had lost myself somewhere in the war. That’s when they’d get raged. I didn’t mind that. But the labels that came like bullets, the selfish and egocentric, the ungrateful and the unkind, the sleepyhead and the dramatist, the attention seeker and the oh-so-loves-self-pity; would open up my wounds like anything and I’d get back on my feet, run back to the battleground, witness their injuries and tell myself “You have to be strong for them!”.

But did they ever realize I was one of them and that I wasn’t fighting for them rather we were fighting for us? For mankind that had long forgotten God-like virtues. Their silence killed me. Their ignorance ate my insides. I didn’t need their shoulder to lean on. I didn’t need their sympathy. I didn’t need their support for I knew we were all slaves to one Lord. I didn’t bow down to them, I bowed down to their King.

But often at times, when I’d hit rock bottom, I’d ask myself where do all this strength come from? I was a strong believer that unexpressed emotions do not die, they’re buried alive and come forth later in uglier ways. Yet, I was unable to cry. My chest would feel heavy as I’d put my head to sleep, I would feel tears tying a knot in my throat. I’d feel a storm coming but it never came. I waited, and waited, and waited for it but I always fell asleep without ever experiencing it.

I used to wonder, where do all the emotions go? Do we really explode one day or do we carry them to our graves? Now that I lie under this mud, my body wrapped in white with grace, I realize he never sent someone for me. For he was the one, for he is the one. For he understands and calls upon his beloveds. They come by and build my tomb, talking about how surprising it was for I showed no sign. Oh, in the same times, in the same skin, what do they mean by it? As they sit and let out their cries, I realize these are my tears that they’re crying. Glory to the Lord who didn’t let me break down in front of them. He knew they wouldn’t realize my worth for I don’t bow down to them, I bow down to their King.

Unexpressed Emotions- The tears I had all life kept:

I rest my head for eternal sleep, the lines; noted down with a bruised but not a broken heart, written in a very unthoughtful way, disappear in the cemetery, for they didn’t deserve to know, for her worth was not that low, as they read:

Kept things to myself

For the people around

Needed me for themselves

Buried emotions deep down

And didn’t let the storm out

I told myself every day

Stay strong, bae

For the ignorant never understood

For not everyone was kind

So I went to sleep without crying

Thinking when will I let this out

Waited for someone who understood

Until finally I met my beloved

As I lay deep under the ground

The mud covering my corpse

I realize he was the one,he is the one

As they come by and sit on my tomb

And cry their hearts out

For I have gone

For I never looked like I would be gone

I realize this was it, this is it

These are my tears that they shed

The tears I had all life kept

More by this author at https://theuncoiled.com/author/zainab/
Read on mental health at https://www.un.org/development/desa/disabilities/issues/mental-health-and-development.html

Have you been showing up for yourself lately, or wondering why others are not showing up for you? Can you too can relate to the struggle of the striving, pushing, forcing, hustling world we are living in nowadays. Off the back of a conversation yesterday that the world isn’t going to slow down any time soon for us, we need to then figure out just how we are going to choose to show up in the world.

I’ve also been contemplating how this week I really backed myself with a decision I made and the moment I did this all the uncertainty, confusion and anxiety around the situation disappeared. You see I think the universe likes to test us, but what it loves to see most is that we take the test with all our might and pass it – no matter how many times we have to do a re-write

We do not have to show up with bells and whistles, glitter and lip gloss to be successful, intelligent, compassionate people. We should not have to go looking, begging or bragging for attention and recognition. We shouldn’t need to outdo and compete with each other in the game of life. Perhaps in some areas, like sports, yes, a little competition as they say never hurt anybody. But in the game of life, I think there is enough we need to process, deal with and experience, that trying then to bring in your fellow human beings as competitors is a bit futile, short-sighted and unnecessary.

All we really need to do – as I’m sure I have stated before because I feel so strongly about it – is show up as ourselves. That’s it. And then be ok that some people will not show up with you and for you. Seems like an empty, scary place. I assure you and almost completely guarantee (because you may be the exception) that if you do the work of accepting yourself – warts, wrinkles and a few character flaws and all, you will find that you are the only person that needs to truly be there for you!

It takes a while to come to this place of self-acceptance, it takes examination of ALL of you, the good, the bad, the ugly, the bitchy, the whiney, the moody, the holy and I am sure you could think of a host of others to add to your resume. You see if we try and cover up a part of ourselves and only show the world our game face then we will only attract players in the game.  

If, however we show up as our whole, complex, messy human selves then we know that we can probably expect some very real authentic humans to show up too. And we can then choose if we want to walk the journey with them.

There is such power in being seen as you are and still accepted. This is the true law of attraction at work, when people show up for us no matter what because they feel on a certain level that what we are offering is at last authentic, open and receptive. We all know what it is like to feel awkward and uncomfortable in our own skins and it is almost necessary to go through this so we can grow into who we are meant to be. But take care not to remain in your comfort zone for too long, or expect others to wait for us while we get used to the idea of growth.

We also know what it is like to be around people with no agendas and no masks, who truly are just good to be around and leave everywhere they go a little better for it. These are the people who are showing up in the world as themselves, whether they are having a good or bad day. You see those are always inevitable being the nature of world. They are just being true to their own nature’s, and that is what makes all the difference in their days. A good dose of self acceptance and an examined life will carry you far.

If you don’t know anyone like this then I wish you the inspiring experience, and instead of waiting to discover someone like this why not start becoming that person yourself. You will be amazed at just what and who you find on your path when you do!

Follow this link to read how forcing things is futile Why Forcing Something is Futile and Ends in Frustration – The Uncoiled

Check out last week’s article here The Most Powerful Betrayal in History – Why we Betray. – The Uncoiled

For more info on self acceptance go here Self-acceptance – Wikipedia

The basic requirements for growth are desire and actions. However when your desire exceeds actions, the requirements won’t be met and growth would be hindered .

Some of us are too much consumed by the desire than putting in the actions required to give birth to the desired growth.

So, if you are concerned with changing levels rather than growing, please listen up- some levels are subjected to growth and not desire, because they can’t be handled with immaturity.

Therefore, it is essential that you’re grown into the stature of the level you have pictured before you can feature into it.

The reason is simple – you can’t operate a as a master in a filed with a baby’s mind. That’s would be the biggest disaster ever in your life. Kings reason, live or act correspondingly.

If you want to be a master, you need to gather the needed information, knowledge and experience before people will tag you as such.

You have to go through the process with all that it entails :depression at certain point, oppression another time, headaches, hustles, difficulties anything that can refine and position you as a master in the future.

Know that to move from one level to another , to climb the steps of a ladder in life, there is a sacrifice attached it. Some of them come in form of hard experiences meant to enlarge your capacity and prune you into shape like that tree at the roadside you admire a lot.

Give every word a meaning, learn how to grow with every comma, full stop, exclamation mark, question mark etc..

Anything that robs your peace, tranquility and comfort might be the right ingredients for the kind of growth required by the new level you want to reach. If you can’t endure it, forget about that desired growth you are longing for.

Know that some steps are sharp while others are steep. They become unfriendly causing your temperament. Therefore, you need to trim them well, pay rapt attention to them as you are climbing so that you stand still.

Unfortunately, some of us, merely have no accommodating capacity, yet we want to take the lead, command and give order. How can it happen successfully? Sometimes I feel like I am part of that group.

Some of us too find very difficult to manage relationships because we’ve unknowingly or knowingly stopped the process that might help us grow in that aspect. We taught we could do it alone. It will definitely bounce back.

Let’s say you leave in the same room with your friend, and one day you actually packed out of the room because you think your roommate is the most terrible and worst human being on earth while forgetting that you are not perfect as well.

If you start tagging people as such, you would like to live alone than mingling with people because they easily get on your nerves. But, stop and think : don’t you get on people’s nerves too? Or you are a saint. I don’t think so.

If you have resolved to climb a mountain for days, you will definitely burn some fat and dump some weight in the air before you reach your destination or achieve your goals.

If we badly hold on to those things, yet we desire new level, how will get there?

I hope by now, you have started thinking of your past, your current conditions, the way you go about things. That’s cool.

This means, wisdom is not acquired once for all. We grow everyday. That’s the principle of life. We all hope to be better day in day out even if many aspect of your life are not responding in affirmative to your desires.

Stupid ones analyse days, months and years of their life with usual false hope that things will get better the next day, month and year but the wise ones analyse each day, month and year of their life in such a way that they make the best from every moment. They don’t wish, they take action.

Don’t forget we are already in April and the year will end in 8 months time.

A new day should be a new you, and what you make out of it it matters a lot to your future life.

Be an action taker, a champion of the moment not the champion of the future you haven’t already seen and touched. Plan for the future but act daily to get there.

The only way to get there is to quit the fantasies and build your reality. Reality of the moment.

To sum up, these are things you can do

1-Get aligned with your maker.

Develop a cordial relationship with Him through which you can navigate the course of your existence.

Good success comes from God, not the ones that makes you rich with a touch of sorrow.

Stop believing the lies that you don’t need God to be successful.

2-Learn to grow with the commas, no level promises a smooth ride.

Stay active in the place of process rather than running away.

3-Be updated and versatile.

Learn skills, that’s the latest currency.

4-Read books:

It could be spiritual, financial, marital, leadership, career materials etc.

If you are an undergraduate, or graduate, these books will prepare you mind and get you ready for the desired growth you desire. Don’t wait till you graduate before you start making things happen or you have a problem before you start looking for solutions. They in those books.

5-Get trained and well groomed for the future before you.

6-Build your life with valuable resources.

7-And by all means, implement!

Getting results is not just about gathering knowledge, results can only be gotten from the knowledge you implement not the ones you document.

If you got value from this article

Hit the comment section !

I care a lot about you! I love you. You are highly esteemed.

Be a change agent.

See you in my next article.

Tamoskoff